The Strangest Role Models

” There was a gang of Hungarians that wanted their own mob. They realized that to be in power you didn't need guns, or money or even numbers.  You just needed the will to do what the other guy wouldn't.” – Verbal Kent in The Usual Suspects

I love that line. 

America is the Can-Do country.  Forget political leanings or anything else, a good rags-to-riches, do-it-yourself, pull-yourself-up-by-your-own-bootstraps story appeals to everyone.  We all the love independent action and the determination to see things through to our own ends.  Even in people we’re not supposed to love – like, say, criminals – doing it ‘their way’ is something we admire.  I think this is one reason why America seems so fascinated with the classic Mob story: the guy who goes out and cheats, steals and murders to live the life he wants, for himself and his family.  It’s all about hard work, loyalty, faithfulness (at least to an ideal), freedom, and the dream of economic independence.  If only what they did all day wasn’t so illegal and so lethal, we could admire them without reservation.

And if it’s a not a Mob figure it’s the sports superstar that wills his team or himself to victory (the ‘dagger’ shot that won the game), the brilliant investor who timed the market or some product launch just right and made millions, that genius composer (Mozart) whose scores had no corrections in them, a movie star (Chuck Norris) who takes on all comers.  In a large part, they succeed because they believe in themselves unfailingly enough that they can’t fail.  These are the stories we tell ourselves, the American Dream all right, we feel like we’re born to it: the will to do what the other guy wouldn’t.  Go for it!*

* I won’t belabor the point that except in extremely rare cases, the big-risk-taking, do-it-yourselfer is just a myth.  Read Malcolm Gladwell’s piece, ‘The Sure Thing’ in the January 18, 2010 New Yorker.  Ted Turner, Sam Walton (founder of Walmart) – two daring geniuses?  Nope.  Had it all handed to them. 

You see it on the streets, to.  Pedestrian, auto, bicycle … when you game the traffic and get somewhere faster than the other guy, you let yourself feel a little bit like Keyser Soze, Mozart, Ted Turner and Michael Jordan all rolled into one.  You know, how many of us are really geniuses, so good at whatever we do that we stand out all that much?  So we take a few chances here and there, buy a lottery ticket, make a lucky call to a friend and land a great job, come up with a great zinger and then fantasize about selling it to Dave Letterman.  A couple things fall into place and we feel a little less mundane. 

I wrote about what a relief it can be to let go of that need for action, but there’s a cost to chasing after it as well.  The more often you raise yourself above the level of the mundane (at least in your eyes), the more you want to do it, the bigger the risks you’re willing to take to pull it off, and the more likely that a time will come the risks will catch up to you and you will crash.  You will.

I read a business article once that talked about the general rule of ‘If’ for investing.  The more ‘ifs’ a person included in the logic for choosing a given investment, the greater the danger was.  ‘If’ the economy is really on the upswing, and ‘if’ banks begin to loosen credit rules and allow first-time homeowners to buy more easily, and ‘if’ home prices have no other reason to stay flat or continue to fall, and ‘if’ you can stay liquid long enough to attract buyers … why, now would be the PERFECT time to dump your life’s savings into a whole bunch of empty houses!  In other words, do NOT do this!.  But what if someone does do it and becomes a zillionaire?  Now they’re our hero.

The same is true for your commute: ‘if’ you can get over this busy road quickly, and ‘if’ that one neighborhood intersection with the Stop sign is empty, and ‘if’ … why, you’ll get to work in no time and look very cool to yourself for beating the average.  Or you’ll be laying on the ground underneath someone’s bumper or along with the other cyclist you hit. 

It’s tempting to want to be a winner all the time.  We’re force-fed that myth until it makes us sick, until we’re no longer satisfied with a normal, happy life.  It takes a greater will, in a way, not to run your life as a Can-Do, Go-For-It person than it does to take the risk.  And if you have that greater will, no one will notice you for it.  You’ll feel like you’ve disappeared.